this is hard. it is hard to say something when everything is bumping around in my head. it is hard to find the time. it is hard to articulate on paper, on a screen, through my hands. my mouth and my body both work better. i am hard pressed to be able to articulate what i am doing here. in cyberspace. on this blog. is this writing for me? for you? who are you? are you there?
i read an article about "dance community" in Contact Quarterly yesterday and today. i am intrigued. i would like to think more about this later.
i also read about yvonne rainer and i almost cried. it was a tribute to her. my nose flared. i can't control that movement of my body. i thought 'why do i get emotional about yvonne rainer? i've never met her and i've only seen her work once and it was on video and she wasn't dancing it.' i thought that i feel like somehow she is part of me. but how?
then i read about an amazing project that was once in Northampton, MA where they worked to keep free, open, blank space available to artists. and it worked for 30 years. and the sad and scary and frustrating and maybe even disheartening part was that eventually it didn't work any more. and i asked myself why so many people don't value the arts and artists. and i asked myself why i do. and i didn't have all the answers. and then later i watched part of the republican national convention, and i thought, "god help us!" and in my head i used god in the masculine form of the name, even though i like to conceive of my spirituality as "she." and i thought how sad that even i cannot seem to make my art and arts funding a priority for election, because i have higher stakes in other areas of my life.
and all this was in CQ. and i thought about supporting them with a subscription. because i want the issues anyway. and i found myself thinking that i can't afford it. but i bought new sunglasses.
in other news, i had a fantastic coffee date for which i am highly grateful. and it was the first time in almost a week that i had coffee!
i've also found a way to keep myself downtown once a week, even when i'm at school for the semester.
and so we've come full circle to ideas of community.
my lover lies next to me, sleeping.
since morning i have yet to touch her skin.
